Some people I know tell me that they are very happy and productive in their second or third adapted culture, and I tell them that I believe them, and it’s good for them. But if you are like me or most people, living in another culture would generate a lot of daily stress. I’ve lived 24 years out of thirty some years of my life cross-culturally, meaning I didn’t live those years in my native land of South Korea. Some things have gotten easier over the years, but some others are always a struggle for me.
But I’ve also learned some things that I can do to cope with this stress of living and working cross-culturally. So, here are my ways of coping. Some of these may be an instant help while others may take a long term commitment on your part.
1. Look for new, genuine friendships
The latest research confirms what we already know – community, support network, or good relationship with friends and family help reduce stress and improves our health. But what do you do when you can’t take with you your community/support network into the new setting? You start a new one by making friends and building relationships. No loner can survive a cross-cultural venture. You need support. If you don’t have one, go out and get it. These local “supporters” often come in the form of neighbors, workers at the grocery store next block, colleagues at work, other expats, and people who you find in fun activities you pursue.
2. Develop and enjoy constructive hobbies
If you can continue an old hobby in the new culture, then continue it. If you can’t, then try something new. But you need something that will refresh you and make you come alive. My hobby before was reading books at a local Starbucks, and now I do the same thing at 7eme Art, a very nice café in downtown Rabat.
3. Stick to your goals of being in your adapted culture
It’s easy to lose focus and forget why you are there in first place. If that’s the case, then go back to your original purpose, goal, or even “vision” of coming to the current location. It’s a very good idea to write these down on a sheet of paper. Nothing complicated. Try a one-page personal mission statement. Keep it handy to remind you again and again.
4. Take a step back when things get too stressful
We could try all kinds of things, but in the end some stress is inevitable. When you find yourself being depressed or frustrated, then maybe it’s a good idea to take a break from it all. Find a park or a beach or a nice café. Or maybe explore some new sights in your adapted city or even go long distance and go for a weekend trip.
5. Invite family and friends back home to visit you
Nothing is more encouraging and fun than to have your loved ones back home to come and visit you. Having them with you will provide you with a lot of emotional support. It will be sad to say good-bye in the end, but you might just realize how far you’ve come in the new culture by being with someone who reminds you of your initial days.
6. Keep learning the local language(s)
This takes time, effort, and commitment. You can say all you want about not being talented or gifted or whatever, but when it comes to language learning, I’d say it’s about 95% efforts and 5% talent. Learning the local language will not only make you more fluent in the local culture, but it will also greatly reduce your stress level. You also get all kinds of deals and insider information when you speak their language.
In conclusion…
Your cross-cultural stress won’t completely go away. But following some of these tips will surely help you reduce it to a level where you can handle your assignment and make for a more pleasant experiences in your new culture.
